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6 Tips to Raise an Optimist
6 Tips to Raise an Optimist
There are many reasons to encourage optimism in our children, including long-lasting positive affects on their mental and physical well-being. (Did you know optimists are much more likely to live past 100?) But how do you go about raising an optimist? Put these six tips into practice, for starters, and watch the positive benefits extend to the rest of your household.
1. Quit complaining.
Melissa Baldauf often catches herself worrying out loud as she drives her sons, ages 2 and 4, through the Seattle rain to child care. “We’re never going to get there,” she might say, or “We’re always running late.” Focusing on negative thoughts and frustrations, though, is classic pessimism. The more you moan about money problems or a tough day at work, the more likely it is that your kids will learn to do the same thing. Instead, try talking about things that go right (“I killed a big project at work today,” or “I had the nicest encounter at the post office today”). During dinner Jenn McCreary, a Philadelphia mom, plays “roses and thorns” with her 9-year-old twins. Each family member reveals the best and worst thing that happened to them that day. Rather than grumbling about the thorns, the goal is to focus on the positive. The bonus round is McCreary’s favorite part: “We all share one hope for tomorrow,” she says.
2. Have high expectations.
Even before her sons started kindergarten, Priscilla Baker began posting a to-do list above the light switch in their rooms reminding them to make their bed, get dressed, brush their teeth, and tidy up their room. “They weren’t allowed to come down for breakfast until they’d finished all their jobs,” says the Blacksburg, Virginia, mom. While she initially came up with the idea to reduce her own workload, Baker quickly realized that her boys were also benefiting from the routine. “They’d come downstairs all excited and say, ‘Mommy, I made my bed really well. Come check.’ They felt so proud,” she says.
Kids won’t develop an optimistic, “can-do” attitude unless they have the opportunity to prove their worth. “Entrusting children to complete tasks makes them feel capable,” notes Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., a child psychologist and the author of Freeing Your Child From Negative Thinking. Chores need to be age appropriate, since the point is for kids to succeed. A 2-year-old can pick up her toys, a 3-year-old can put dirty clothes in the hamper, a 4-year-old can carry plates to the sink, a 5-year-old can empty wastebaskets, and a 6-year-old can sort laundry.
3. Encourage reasonable risk-taking.
We all struggle with how much to try to protect our kids from getting (or feeling) hurt. It’s embarrassing to fall off the monkey bars in front of your friends or join an ice-hockey league when you don’t know how to skate, so it’s natural to want to shield your child from these types of situations. But discouraging him from doing an activity because he might not be as skilled as other kids undermines his confidence—and encourages pessimism to seep in.
You’ve simply got to start letting go of the reins, emphasizes Parents advisor Michael Thompson, Ph.D., author of Homesick and Happy: How Time Away From Parents Can Help a Child Grow. Allow your kindergartner to play alone in the backyard or go on a school field trip without you as a chaperone. Over time, build up to bigger risks, like climbing the rock wall at a fair or going to sleepaway camp. “You don’t want your child to be afraid to try new things,” says Dr. Thompson. “You want him to come home and say, ‘Mom, I did it!’ ”
4. Wait before reacting.
When Dr. Reivich heard that another second-grader had been calling her daughter fat, her first instinct was to phone the girl’s parents—but she stopped herself. “I wanted to teach Shayna to be her own advocate,” she says, so they plotted out what Shayna could say the next time it happened. When it did, Shayna delivered her prepared script: “Number one, I am not fat. Number two, that’s not a nice thing to say to a friend.” The other girl apologized, and Shayna came home feeling empowered. Curbing your “mama bear” instincts can take enormous selfcontrol. When your child is trying to sound out a new word or taking a long time to fit a piece into a puzzle, it’s easy to quickly intervene. “But letting your child try to solve things without your help will boost her sense of accomplishment and also make her more optimistic about what she can do in the future,” says Dr. Reivich.
5. Embrace the struggle.
When my own first-grader, Blair, toils over a worksheet, she often exclaims in exasperation, “I’m bad at math!” Unfortunately, a single setback may be enough for kids to concoct a permanent sense of their shortcomings: “I’m not smart.” “I stink at soccer.” “I can’t draw.”
To prevent those types of conclusions, try to change your child’s perspective, says psychologist Andrew Shatté, Ph.D., who creates training programs to help kids power through challenges. To reframe his thoughts more positively, you might say, “New sports are hard to learn at first,” or “I know you can’t tell time yet, but you will.” And let him know he’s not the only one (“Lots of kids in your class are feeling as frustrated as you are,” or “I had a tough time when I started learning subtraction too”). Help him stay hopeful by mentioning another skill he worked to master: “Remember when you couldn’t read and how much effort that took? You’ll get this too.”
6. Keep it real.
When Tracy Reinert’s family moved to Florida, her 6-year-old son, Matt, had trouble fitting in at first. “I don’t have any friends,” he moaned to his mom. To cheer him up, she was tempted to tell him, “You have lots of friends back in New Jersey, and when the kids here find out what an awesome guy you are, they’re going to beg to be your friend.” But she bit her tongue because she didn’t want to give him false hope. Smart move. “Kids can see right through that kind of self-esteem boost,” says Dr. Shatté. Ironically, reassuring your child that everything’s going to turn out great often has the exact opposite effect. “Optimism actually requires thinking realistically more than positively,” adds Dr. Chansky. “That way your child is prepared for whatever he faces.”
After all, if the Florida kids didn’t start hanging out with Matt, he might conclude that he wasn’t truly such an awesome guy. Instead, Reinert sat him down for a heart-to-heart chat. “It’s challenging to move to a new place and start over,” she explained. “Making friends takes time.” After that, Matt stopped complaining and took active steps to solve the problem. He asked his mom to take him to the closest playground after school and to let him ride his bike around the neighborhood to meet kids who lived nearby. Within a few weeks, he had some new buds. “He suddenly realized that things were going to work out,” Reinert says, “and he ended up teaching me a thing or two about being optimistic.”
Bye-Bye Binky: Ending the Pacifier Habit
Bye-Bye Binky: Ending the Pacifier Habit
What You Should Know About Pacifiers
As I write this, my 2-1/2-year-old, Sophie, is in our family room, loudly demanding her "binkies." I've spent the last few weeks talking to experts—pediatricians, pediatric dentists, child psychologists—about when and how to put an end to her pacifier habit, and have heard everything from "ignore it and it will stop eventually," to "no pacifier past 24 months, period."
Perhaps no discretionary decision causes parents more angst than the question of whether to introduce a pacifier—and later, when and how to take it away. There is no shortage of opinions on the subject. When our first baby, Jake (now 4), entered the world a colicky tyrant, my mother insisted there was but one solution: "Give him a pacifier." (We tried; he refused.)
Pacifier Safety
When purchasing a pacifier, be sure to follow these guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics:
- Look for a one-piece model with a soft nipple (some two-piece pacifiers can break apart).
- The shield should be made of firm plastic with air holes, and should measure at least 1 inch across so baby can't swallow it.
- Purchase dishwasher-safe pacifiers and clean them this way frequently until baby is 6 months; after this, wash pacifiers regularly with hot soap and water.
- Pacifiers come in two sizes: 0-6 months and 6 months and above; for baby's comfort, make sure pacifiers are the correct size.
- To prevent the risk of strangulation, never tie a pacifier around your baby's hand, neck, or crib railing. Use a pacifier clip instead.
- Never use a bottle nipple and ring in place of a pacifier; the nipple can separate from the ring and pose a choking hazard.
- Inspect pacifiers regularly for damage and replace them if the rubber has changed color or torn.
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The Basics of Pacifier Use
Babies are born with an innate need to suck, says Richard Dowell, PhD, a pediatric neuropsychologist at Evangelical Community Hospital in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania. Newborns rely on this "suck reflex" not only for sustenance but also for soothing. "Young infants have no other mechanism to control their distress," explains Dowell. "They can't get a drink; they can't ask for a blanket; they can't use their hands to control things. Sucking provides a way for them to calm themselves."Thus, babies will suck—if not on a pacifier, then on a thumb, finger, bottle, or breast, says Karen Breach, MD, a pediatrician in Charlotte, North Carolina. "If a baby needs to nurse more than every two hours, he's using Mom as a pacifier," she says, noting that, in such cases, a pacifier can help satisfy baby's non-nutritive sucking needs while giving Mom a needed break.Just be sure breastfeeding is well established before introducing the pacifier, cautions Kellen Glinder, MD, a pediatrician at the Palo Alto Medical Foundation, in Palo Alto, California. "For babies who do have trouble learning to breastfeed, the pacifier can teach bad habits." Once baby is an expert at nursing and Mom's milk supply is established (typically in a few days), it's fine to bring on the binky.Pacifier Pros and Cons
While parents worry that binkies may harm baby's teeth, they typically have no affect on a child under 2. "From a dental-health perspective, it's best to limit the pacifier when a child is 2 and stop it entirely by the time a child is 4," says John Stritikus, DDS, a pediatric dentist in Dickson, Tennessee. Past age 4, pacifiers can cause an overbite, open bite, or crossbite—problems that affect chewing, speech, and appearance, and often require orthodontics to correct, notes Dr. Stritikus. Unfortunately, so-called orthodontic pacifiers don't make a difference. What matters is the frequency and intensity of the sucking habit.PROS: On the plus side, pacifiers may decrease the chance of cavities by keeping baby from using the bottle or breast for non-nutritive sucking, says Stritikus. "Babies who sleep with the bottle can develop "baby-bottle cavities" in all 16 or 20 of their teeth," he warns.CONS: Recent studies have linked pacifiers with a three times higher risk for ear infections, so if these are a recurring problem for your child, it may be worth eliminating the pacifier to see if it makes a difference, says Breach.PROS: On the other hand, pacifiers may help reduce the risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). One study found that babies put to sleep with a pacifier were 20 times less likely to die of SIDS than were babies who slept without pacifiers. Researchers speculate that pacifiers may keep babies from rolling onto their faces or may keep their tongues forward and away from their airways. "I wouldn't introduce the pacifier just to prevent SIDS," says Breach. But it's another reason to feel okay about doing so.Weaning Your Child Off of Pacifiers
When to StopHere is where opinions diverge. Marolyn Morford, PhD, a developmental psychologist in State College, Pennsylvania, recommends discontinuing the pacifier by a year. "At that age, a child's developmental needs do not include sucking," she says. Dr. Breach allows more latitude: "It's okay to make pacifiers the last thing to go. Once a baby is weaned and potty trained, then focus on stopping the pacifier."It's a tolerant attitude echoed by Dr. Dowell: "Ultimately, children develop higher level strategies to manage their distress—usually beginning at around age 2," he says. "They phase out their pacifiers as they develop skills to replace them." Most kids willingly surrender their binkies by age 3 or 4.How to Stop: The Three-Day PlanYour child can be binky-free in just three days, says Mark L. Brenner, author of Pacifiers, Blankets, Bottles & Thumbs: What Every Parent Should Know About Stopping and Starting (Fireside). Here's how to do it.Day 1: In the morning and at bedtime, tell your child that you can see she wants to do lots of things that make her older. Tell her that's a good idea, and that in three days it will be time for her to say goodbye to her pacifiers. Tell her you know she can do it and that you'll work together on it. Keep the talk to 30 seconds and don't sound as if you're asking permission. If your child responds, reflect back her feelings—"I know you don't want to"—then move on. Don't worry that your child will become anxious if given advance warning. "That's a myth," says Brenner. "Like adults, children like to prepare themselves physically, psychologically, and emotionally for change."Day 2: Repeat the same 30-second talk twice daily, only replace "in three days" with "tomorrow." Don't try to sell her on the idea. Keep your tone and manner matter-of-fact.Day 3: Remind your child that it's day three and time to gather up his pacifiers. Act as if you're going on a scavenger hunt and ask your child if he'd like to help. Even if he refuses and protests, proceed to collect his pacifiers, place them in a plastic bag, and put them on the front step for "pick-up by the recycling truck." Explain that the pacifiers will be made into new tires or toys. "Children recognize that recycling is purposeful and intelligent, and will be far less upset than if you throw their treasured pacifiers in the trash," says Brenner. Which is not to say your toddler won't have a meltdown. Be empathetic, but firm, Brenner says, adding that most children get over losing their pacifiers within 48 hours.The Gradual ApproachStart by removing the pacifier in "zero-distress" situations, like when your child is home, happy, and playing. Once she's used to not having her pacifier at home, eliminate its outdoor use. You don't need to offer an explanation. "We sometimes over-talk to our kids," Dr. Dowell says. "All you need to say is: The pacifier doesn't leave the house."From here, it's usually a painless leap to: "The pacifier stays in the crib." Convincing your child to make the final break, however, may be more challenging. Some parents use the "Binky Fairy" or Santa to help smooth the transition. "Near the holidays, you might tell your child that Santa collects all the pacifiers for new babies and brings toys for all the big girls and boys," suggests Ivy Faske, MD, a pediatrician in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. Or you could tell your child that the dentist or doctor collects pacifiers for new babies, and that if she donates hers, she'll get a special toy.Don't be surprised, however, if the child who traded her pacifiers for a Dora doll suddenly wails for her binky. "You have to be willing to put up with a few really bad nights," says Faske. "But most kids soon find other sources of comfort."Weathering the StormWhatever method you choose, brace yourself for one to five nights of crying, and whatever you do, don't give in. "If you give a child back the pacifier after he's cried, screamed, and kicked for 45 minutes, you'll only solidify that such carrying on will get him the pacifier—and everything else he wants," says Glinder. If you're tempted to cave, remember: Children (and parents) have endured this rite of passage for millennia. "We all get rid of our pacifiers eventually," he says.
Our Curriculum
Our Curriculum
One philosophy we strongly believe in is Howard Gardner’s notion for multiple intelligences. This theory states that there are a lot of different ways to have intelligence. Most programs base intelligence off of the ability to learn in a spatial (visual) or logical manner, but not everyone is only intelligent in that area. Some people, especially children, are more intelligent in bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, or many other areas.
Incorporating this view into our curriculum means that we focus on a lot of different subjects and activities. It is very important to us to let children participate in activities that will build their self-confidence. The best way to do this is to help the child feel good at something through different ways of expressing themselves.
All of our lessons are tailored to fit the different developmental needs and ages of the children in our programs since the children we work with range from infants to preschoolers. Our experienced teachers use this as a foundation to bring a variety of structured and free-play activities to the students. It is important to us that children have a lot of opportunities to learn in different ways.
Making Education an Investment
Making Education an Investment
It is also important to us that parents know that we are team players. To limit the variability that children sometimes experience at school and at home, parents and teachers work together to create the most ideal situation for every student. When all the adults cooperate, it makes the learning process much more effective. Parents and teachers not only work together, but respect one another and their opinions. We encourage communication between all parties involved to help keep everyone informed and invested in the student’s education.
At SSA, we know that all work and no play makes learning harder, especially for young children. Our emergent teaching includes providing meaningful experiences for students through many opportunities, including through play and exploration. These experiences contribute a lot to our learning environment by using different methods to give variety and ultimately help each student to reach his/her highest potential.
The 13 Key Benefits of Early Childhood Education
When children are young, they are learning sponges. Every new experience, every word they learn, every behavior they adopt, is an investment in a more fruitful future.
You can never have a greater impression on a person than when they are in their early childhood years.
Most parents have always inherently understood this and the Government is starting to catch up.
President Obama agreed in his 2013 State of the Union address. Study after study after study reaches the same conclusion: early childhood education has a tremendous impact on life outcomes. Yet only 51% of 3-and-4 year olds in the US are enrolled in full-day preprimary programs, with no improvement in the last 15 years.
Early childhood education is about honing and molding the holistic child, which will eventually form the basis of their lifelong journey.
From my professional experience of more than 35 years as a preschool teacher, I have identified 13 essential benefits of early childhood education:
1. Socialization:
Socialization with people other than the child’s family in a safe environment is an essential foundational element to the below areas.
As parents, we intuitively understand that it’s important to introduce our children to other children and support their transition into their own friendship groups.
The earlier we do this, the better, as it helps children overcome shyness and gain self-confidence. If we leave this too long, we actually hinder their social development.
2. Concept of Cooperation:
Learning how to share, cooperate, take turns and persevere within a safe learning environment, guided by professionals who have the children’s best interests at heart.
This is especially important for the first child, who may not be used to sharing with their siblings at home - while it can be a difficult lesson, it’s so crucial to learn it early.
3. Encouraging Holistic Development:
The approach taken to build a strong foundation for a child’s emotional, social, physical and mental development, which will prepare them for a lifetime.
Early childhood educators are trained in identifying areas where support is needed for each child and building programs and activities around these. Their peers are also extremely important in this regard, as preschoolers are usually helpful, cooperative and inclusive.
4. Enthusiasm for Lifelong Learning:
Lessons should be given in a fun and exciting way that will encourage children to be effective learners. We need to inspire a thirst for learning with eagerness and enthusiasm.
Love of education- for reading, learning, discovery, nature- takes root in preschool.
5. Convey the Value of Education Through Experience:
Grasping the value of learning and education by setting an example as role models and by providing actual experiences.
While parents will always be the most important influence on a child’s early life, introducing them to a preschool environment provides them with a new perspective on the importance of education that will remain with them throughout their schooling journey. It also demonstrates that you value their education highly.
6. Respect:
Teaching the value of respect for others. This is not limited to people and belongings, but can also mean respect for their environment, both immediate and global.
There is no better place to learn this virtue than in a hectic preschool environment, where everything is shared and civility and manners are both taught and learned organically.
7. Teamwork:
Demonstrating and instilling the importance of teamwork that can teach respect for the opinions of others, listening, cooperation and equality.
Many preschool activities are centered around teamwork for this very reason; a person who learns how to work in a team at an early age will ultimately be more socially attuned and more employable!
8. Resilience:
It’s important that early childhood educators and parents work together to develop resilience in children as early as possible. By creating a consistent, secure and fair social environment, with clear expectations and predictable consequences, children can develop skills in managing themselves and their emotions.
It’s a teacher’s job to provide a challenging environment where children can learn through first hand experiences. They may experience bumps, bruises or losing a game from time-to-time, but this is the foundation for building coping strategies for greater challenges in life.
9. Concentration:
During preschool years, children explore at every opportunity to discover new experiences, new friends and new environments. Their minds are so lively and imaginative.
As early childhood educators we need to balance this zest with the ability to listen, follow directions, attend to tasks and participate in group activities to develop the critical life skill of concentration.
10. Patience:
Every day as adults, we encounter situations where our patience is tested. Children need opportunities to be involved in an abundance of social experiences, where they can explore and practice the social skill of patience.
By teaching through examples, role modeling and social experiences, children are able to develop their patience and learn to wait for their turn. Examples from the preschool setting include sharing a teacher’s attention, a toy, the playground or waiting in line for a game.
12. Confidence and Self-Esteem:
This is critical. A strong sense of wellbeing provides children with confidence, optimism and self-esteem which will encourage children to explore their talents, skills and interests.
Positive interactions with other children and teachers will promote a positive, healthy and secure view of themselves that will allow them to approach situations and problems confidently throughout their lives.
13. Exposure to Diversity:
Valuing difference and diversity are crucial to a child’s early development. Early childhood education serves to guide children to appreciate and accept differences and become well-rounded contributors to society.
It is important that children understand that everyone is unique and special in their own way with their own culture, beliefs and ethnicity.
Preschool is so much more than playing. While the basic educational benefits of preschool (such as literacy and numeracy) are tangible, the advances children achieve towards becoming well-rounded individuals are truly invaluable.
Please don’t let your child miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-palmer/the-13-key-benefits-of-ea_b_7943348.html
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